Stop Explaining Yourself

I see a lot with the mess that is dating and gender discourse on X where people write whole paragraphs and essays on why they want to date/don’t want to date whatever type of girl. At a certain point, I wonder if the author is really just trying to convince himself.

You don’t need to explain yourself to anyone. They’re not listening much anyway. People are too worried about their own problems, and the ones who have nothing better to do than involve themselves in business that don’t concern them aren’t people that you really want to listen to in the first place.

There is a line from Reality Transurfing (great book) that stuck with me: “If you want something, don’t plead for it, don’t demand it, just go out and get it.”

Look, if you want a hot sexy party girl, just talk to her next time you’re at the club. If you want the more traditional church girl, just talk to her next time you run into her whenever. On that note, if it is a priority for you to date a girl who is Christian, if you’re in the United States, then you have statistically about 66% odds just randomly approaching since the majority religion in the US is Christianity. There is no rule that says you must meet them at church. Navigating the church dating scene is entirely out of my area of expertise, but if you are looking for a girl who is a Christian, you can just meet those girls anywhere.

Now, on the flip side, if some random internet person that you’ve never met doesn’t like that you want a fun party girl, or whatever other type of girl, you can just click the block button. It doesn’t merit a long, well-written essay in response. If it’s someone you went to high school with +10 years ago who is now DM’ing you with some stupid opinion, again, you can just click the block button.

The point I’m making is that you don’t need to explain yourself to randoms. If someone who doesn’t know me like that is just giving some unsolicited opinion, as if they are acting like they’re some kind of close trusted confidant of mine, I’d take that disrespectfully.

It doesn’t merit a response. Treat them like a homeless guy on the subway who is ranting about Elvis and aliens from outer space. You don’t stop and explain to them, “no you’re actually not fighting alongside Elvis to defeat the aliens.” You just think to yourself, well this guy is a trainwreck, and you move on.

Lastly, I’m trying to bring some more levity and fun to the mess that is dating discourse on X. Yes I’m all for making fun of feminists and the more eccentric trads, but girls are fun. They have boobs. Boobs are awesome. It’s not like we’re fighting World War 1 in the trenches and getting chemical gassed or something.