How to attract party girls if you want them but don’t get them
Lately, a lot of talk on the internet is about how guys can meet a “good” girl, defined differently for different guys, but in general terms it means a girl who is more traditionally-oriented. That being said, one thing that isn’t talked about but should be are the guys who ACTUALLY WANT to meet party girls but can only seem to attract career type girls or quiet shy girls.
I was one of those guys. This article is going to include some tips on how, if you just resonate more with high dopamine party girls, BUT you end up with the quieter more chill girls, this is how you can bridge that gap.
If party girls are not your type, that is fine, and this article is not meant to convince you otherwise. Realize though that you’re following an account of a cartoon Playboy bunny. If you want larping about how we must RETVRN and get a “trad wife”, we don’t do that here. Not interested in debating this so if you disagree, just take it somewhere else.
Anyways.
Here are the top 3 reasons why you are NOT getting party girls, in order:
Reason 3: You’re not fun enough
Let me give you two paragraphs, and tell me which one you just FEEL has a vibe that bring in party girls more:
Paragraph 1:
The thing is, I am personally more into the high dopamine type girls, but I have a pattern where I attract more corporate type girls or more chill type girls. I’m not here to say what they’re doing is wrong, it’s a free country and they can do what they want, but just for me personally, I am looking for compatibility, so I’ve been trying to bridge the delta between…(etc.)
Paragraph 2:
I’m trying to turn up, it’s the weekend, where the hoes at?! I need another Red Bull, I got some baddies I DM’d on Insta that said they’re coming to the club, so let’s get lit.
It should be apparent which one has a better vibe for what you’re trying to do. Short story, get out of work mode.
Take your job seriously. We’re in a recession so you absolutely need to be on your game with work…but leave it at the office door. Dating is not an exchange of resumes or product spec sheets. It’s an emotional process, not a logical one. Watch some comedy. Do something physical to get you out of your head.
You know the expression that you’re an average of the 5 people that you spend the most time with? I’m not saying to get rid of your work friends who aren’t about that life—I am saying that you need to start making some friends who ARE about that life, and being around them will bring you up by osmosis.
If she is a true baddie, she’s being invited out to private parties, photo shoots, box seats to sports games—figure out how you can get into those circles. Fortunately, we have
, Bow Tied Social Circle, and Bow Tied Broseidon who are giving out the keys to the game.It doesn’t take much to get started. Can’t afford a table with bottles or don’t have a promoter connect who can hook it up? All good, since it doesn’t cost much of anything to host a pregame at your apartment and invite people over before going out. It doesn’t cost much of anything to host a brunch event. Just make a reservation at a fun brunch party spot.
Michael Sartain (if you don’t follow him but want party girls, fix that now and start following him) says that step one is to fix your Instagram. I’d take that one step further. The point isn’t to just have an Instagram with cool pictures. The point is to be socially calibrated. Look, nobody thinks you’re cool or some kind of badass because you don’t know how to use a cell phone and don’t post good photos on Insta. It’s just the way that crowd communicates, and you’re like a sand castle pushing against the ocean tide trying to stop it, meaning you won’t. Figure it out or get left behind.
I see this particularly with people on the political right. To be clear, I’m autistically right wing and understand that Genghis Khan did nothing wrong. That said. People on the right, at least in the USA, seems to take this weird pride in being culturally illiterate. I’m not saying you have to keep up with the freaking Kardashians, but if you’re culturally illiterate, you’re just not going to be fun to hang around—especially for the baddie party girls. You should have a good fashion sense, a good sense of what music is trendy now, and you should know what venues and events in your city have fun events for that kind of crowd.
Reason 2: You lack conviction and are not willing to walk away
Realize this. A lot of girls may have a “party phase” and then grow out of it. If you want a girl who either 1) is currently in her party phase or 2) it’s not just a phase and she really is in fact about that life, then you have to be willing to walk away if she is not. Also realize that some girls realize that a number of guys have a negative connotation to party girls, so she may try to downplay those aspects of her personality. You need to make it clear through your thoughts, words, and actions that it’s actually going to be the other way around, where you truly are looking for a girl who is about that life, and if she’s not, that’s totally fine and her decision, but you need to move on to someone who is compatible for you.
Look, people aren’t mind readers. Imagine you went to a car dealership and told the salesman that you needed a new car, in the back of your mind you need a pickup truck, but you don’t tell that to the salesman and provide no specifics. He does his best to find you…something, so he picks out some sedans or sports cars which you all reject because you need a pickup truck. After a while, the poor salesman is going to be extremely confused, and you’re wasting your own time standing out on the dealership lot waiting for cars you don’t want. Why not just tell him you need a truck?! You’re wasting his time, and you’re wasting your own time.
You’ve got to be willing to say, yes I am in fact going for this type of girl, and you have to be willing to accept whatever negative feedback comes your way. The reality is that you won’t even get much, and the little that you may get can be safely ignored (just block them; they’re haters). There’s a good saying that when you’re young, you worry about what people think. When you’re in middle age, you stop worrying about what people think. And when you’re in old age…you realize nobody was even thinking about you in the first place.
Nobody cares if you like party girls. Seriously, nobody actually cares. They’re too worried about their own life. Stop worrying about what people think, and that definitely includes stop worrying about girls who are not even compatible with you in the first place, and start going for who you actually want.
As far as how you say no and walk away if she’s not the one, you don’t need to be a dick about it. “I totally get where you’re coming from, and to be honest that’s not really what I’m looking for, so I’d rather just be honest an up front about it.” That’s it. No one is going to get their feelings hurt. Seriously, girls get over rejection fast. Her phone probably would be physically lighter if she deleted all the dick pics that random dudes from Bangladesh were spamming her on Instagram. She’ll be fine. Girls get over rejection a lot better than guys do. Just move on, so you can get to the girls that you actually do want.
Get into an abundance mindset. There are 7-8 billion people on the planet, half of them are female, and you really just need 1. If you meet a girl who isn’t your type, it is what it is, on to the next one.
And, this bring me to my last point.
Reason 1: You don’t actually approach them
Let’s be honest. A lot of guys are intimidated going up to a girl who is dressed to the nines and looks like a model. It’s not the Sheryl Sandberg “strong independent women” who intimidate guys. It’s the baddies. Allow me to repeat myself. Guys may find this intimidating:
Guys do not find this intimidating:
We’re gonna do this Barney style as they say in the military. Once again, guy may be intimidated by this:
I think I’ve made my point.
Look, if you’re not actually going up to the baddies, no wonder why you’re not dating them. Probably when you started your self-development journey, you realized that you needed to get out of your comfort zone, and maybe you’ve made some good progress toward that end, but it’s time to take it to a new level and hold yourself accountable. The true baddies in the club or at a private party, are you actually going up to them? Or are you settling for the type of girls that you feel comfortable with?
If you’re not actually interacting with them, then none of what I wrote earlier really matters. You lose by default when you don’t even play.
Conclusion
Fix those steps above and you should get better results. A lot of life really comes down to identifying what you want and then just simply going out and getting it. When I was starting out, I was autistic AF and kept thinking “man, how do I get those girls who go to music festivals” back when EDM was huge in the early 2010s…then I realized, wait a minute. I got an idea. Here me out on this. Maybe I meet the kind of girls that go to music festivals, by me going to music festivals and then talking to them.
I said I wasn’t going to debate why I like those type of girls, but just in case you’re interested out of curiosity…I’m not sure if even I could tell you. I can say that I’m now in my 30s and dated enough to know that this is what I want. There’s the age-old nature vs. nurture debate when it comes to preferences, and I imagine that it’s a combination of both. I’ve always just liked the more fun, social, extroverted, spontaneous types.
And if you don’t, that’s fine! I can’t really help you otherwise though since that’s not what I really have experience with, but a non-insignificant number of guys who get into self-development were for same reasons as myself, so those are the guys who I want to reach out to and pass info back down to.
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