How being a "harmless rebel" keeps you in intermediate purgatory

Developing a personality with edge is beneficial, but avoid becoming what I call a “harmless rebel.”

A personality with edge naturally repels manipulative people, as they know that you’re not someone who tolerates bad behavior. Edge does not mean crass abrasiveness either. It means that you can ramp it up if necessary, if someone is giving you reason to—but you’re relatable also. Imagine a sports team, a business in a competitive market, or a military unit. Leaders of those organizations need to compete fiercely with their adversaries, but at the same time, they need to be relatable to their peers and subordinates.

It's good to have a masculine edge. But, there’s a difference between that and being a harmless rebel—meaning, fake coolness, fake rebelliousness, being edgy just for the sake of edgy.

Harmless rebel behavior can actually creep in to a lot of guys once they are at an intermediate level, but haven’t quite gotten to that advanced level—me definitely being guilty. It gets fun when you started from a low place, and now you can just send a text message and a girl will come over (if that’s your goal. I don’t care if you’re looking for a long term relationship or casual flings; I just want you to get to your goals, whatever they may be). But, maybe the girls aren’t as hot as you’d like, or maybe there aren’t enough of them, or maybe you’re looking for something more long term and you haven’t found that good chemistry yet.

If this is the case, the problem likely is that you have gotten rid of chode behavior and replaced it with harmless rebel behavior. (Chode is an old RSD term; if you’re not familiar, think beta, simp, chump, etc.).

• Beginner: no edge, simp behavior

• Intermediate: trying to develop an edge, faking it ‘til you make it, which results in harmless rebel behavior

• Advanced: you’ve gone from faking ‘til you make it to actually making it, and you have a real edge

My concept of a masculine edge is more or less what some other coaches refer to as breaking rapport.

Harmless rebel examples

A harmless rebel is an archetype that maybe you see in mass media, or maybe you’ve been guilty of it yourself. Boasting about getting mildly drunk on Busch Light and then making out with a 7 at a college party is being a harmless rebel. Basically any mainstream “men’s advice” video with a guy maybe wearing his hat on backwards or maybe not shaving (OMG super rebellious) is harmless rebel.

A harmless rebel might make an edgy joke about an easy target. A common one you may have seen in some “for men” pieces of media maybe being vegetarians. There’s nothing inherently strong or masculine about eating meat. Sure I like meat—but how many degenerate, out of shape, unaccomplished troll people also eat meat? It’s completely irrelevant. Eat meat, eat vegetarian, who cares. Zero bearing whatsoever on if you’re getting girls.

People at a lower level of consciousness often say things that they do not mean, or also, they avoid saying things and avoid speaking their honest truth. Consider someone who argues passionately in favor of their favorite sports team, but they sulk away silently if someone says something that goes against their political views. Again, this is harmless rebel behavior versus true strength.

When it comes to dating: a harmless rebel takes old school “cocky & funny” too far. They think everything is a shit test. Read Models by Mark Manson for a great take on this.

Way forward

The solution when it comes to developing a true, strong edge without silly harmless rebel theatrics comes down to honesty. You must honestly speak your truth, and you must be fully willing to endure the negative feedback that may come from doing so. To use a basketball term, you must be willing to take the charge and get knocked down.

• Beginner/chode: supplicates during a disagreement, drops his opinion

• Intermediate/harmless rebel: ALPHA ASSERTS HIS ALPHA PRESENCE TO ALPHA DOMINATE

• Advanced/someone with real edge: realizes he can’t win ‘em all, sometimes you’re just going to get some haters, so best to just block them and move on. Meaning being willing to walk away and actually mean it, not as a “tactic” of some sort, but you’re not willing to negotiate on bad behavior. Bad behavior = you’re out.

A harmless rebel will try to use “verbal game” to turn around a set that wasn’t going anywhere to begin with. A man with true strength and edge will just find a new girl, and succeed.

A harmless rebel will brag (with words) to 6s and 7s about how much of a player he is. A man with true strength just lets his Instagram speak for itself.

Another question that I’d ask yourself is how you let high status males treat you (no homo). I’ve noticed, and I was guilty of this myself, that when I was at a lower level of development, I’d take disrespect from high status males that I would never, ever tolerate from a girl whether she was high status, low status, or no status. A harmless rebel might try to laugh with it or something, but really, he’s giving in and he knows it. Having true strength means that you will stand your ground. You don’t need to be over the top with it, since that’s another kind of problem, but you do need to stand your ground.

A harmless rebel is trying to mimic the behavior of a cool person. Someone with true strength is a cool person and does not need to mimic anything.

Build the kind of lifestyle that cannot be faked.

-BowTiedPlayer

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